Trapped
I dont like face liftings, Ill ride them if I nonplus to but I dont usually withdraw to because mostly all buildings still have stairs, but unfortunately today the stairs at put to work were blocked. I didnt wont to be difficult so I unconquerable to take the elevator - you never know, it strength not be that bad. Walking to the elevators I thought this might not be such a good idea, but when I cut that the elevator was empty I thought I might as well.
When I got in the elevator I refractory to make this as quick as possible so after what seemed to be ages, I found the button for the ordinal floor, just as I had laid my finger on it I heard the banshee-like yelps of Janet the Liverpoodlian receptionist who is the clumsiest somebody you will ever meet, at last years Christmas gainice party she clambered half-drunk onto her office desk screeching I will survive using a Bacardi Rum bottle, which she had emptied by herself, as a microphone substitute. Eventually, as everyone thought, she fell off her desk - smashing the bottle sending shards of glass raining start on her and her audience, and hitting her head of the water dispenser tank, which then went profligate out of the window and landed on the bosses BMW. Luckily for her he was looking into buying a Mercedes and said that the insurance silver would come in handy.
Once she had gotten into the elevator I asked,
Which floor?
I knew she would reckon five but I was trying to come crossways polite, but then she replied,
Not like you to get the elevator Sir
To which I replied rather abruptly.
Which floor?
I didnt mean to be so blunt but I really pauperismed to...
I would have just wrapped my fingers around....This is a very good essay.
As you can see, it has the ability to make its readers emotional. I could just olfactory perception your anguish. Keep up the good work!
(Oh yeah....I understood your precise Scottish phrases. lol. Quite well actually.)
I find it hard to think that this person is in junior high 9th pose...Im scottish as well and im not sure how old a person is in 9th grade, but i find it strange that a 9th grader (how old is that? 10? 11? would write about sight who work in an Office. I apologise if I am wrong. I also thought the story rather pointless, with no real plot or climax or persona development and really not very creative at all.
Sorry if im being harsh, perhaps the person who wrote this didnt know what 9th grade was either and just guessed, I dont know.
You could strengthen this piece by creating a better plot, ie something that leads up to a climax, has a clear point to make and some character development.
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